“Gain their trust before asking them to labour; without trust, they will think you are oppressing them.” The sentence is spoken by Zixia in the “Zizhang” chapter of the Analects. Here, “labour” means requiring people to perform work or service, while the second clause describes how an untrusted demand may be received as harsh treatment. The passage continues by applying the same order to remonstrance: trust should precede criticism.
The point is not that goodwill gives someone unlimited permission to impose burdens. It is that a demand is interpreted through the credibility of the relationship. In a workplace or family, explaining reasons, accepting the same standards and keeping promises matter more than issuing an order first. Trust does not turn an unreasonable request into a reasonable one; it makes an accurate understanding of duties and limits more possible.
https://ctext.org/analects/zi-zhang/zh
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